Powered by WordPress and Mystique theme by digitalnature | RSS Feeds, Working at the Crossroads of Life and Death, Lets Stop Throwing the Dead Out with the Trash, 10 Things That Keep Funeral Directors Up at Night. This article takes a look at the connection between grief and guilt. Islam believes cremation to be haram, which is something that is expressly David Jones, professor of Christian ethics at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, outlines three questions we should consider: 1. Affiliate disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, we may earn commissions from qualifying purchases on Amazon.com. It could also be stemming from your own personal beliefs or faith system. Death and loss are uncomfortable. His features had changed so quick. The mind is trying to sort everything out and make sense of whats happened. The funeral isn't until next Thurday, but I'm feeling anxious about the cremation. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies. The point is that cremation is not pleasantit is a loud, violent, repulsive and artificial process. She wouldn't want to be remembered that way. 4. Only if they arent actually dead. 1 Guilt can be grouped in with other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and shame. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. The heroic gesture, again, of a tragic hero. Death can be somewhat traumatic for people who werent ready for it. Feelings of anger and hatred towards the mother energy may manifest. A traditional funeral can often cost around $8,000 to Use Breakfast as Play Time. Also, my dad and siblings and I had keepsake charm urns made. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? Have you ever noticed that your mind never stops? And this, my friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. If it were my choice, I wouldn't have had her cremated ( I had no say since I'm only 14; and it really isn't my decision) since I hate the fact that her body isn't with us at all. Community, love, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not your method of disposition. But I had known too that my mother had once expressed wishes of being buried back in her hometown with her parents and some of her siblings. Then there's a part of me that wants to have our ashes mingled and scattered in the places where we have lived and enjoyed: the Bronx, NYC, and maybe even England since her visits to me there were so memorable and such a part of my experience. Because the average grave spot (i.e., funeral plot) costs $1,000 and the digging of the grave costs $1,000, the cost of burial can be about equal to the cost of cremation. Other biblical events make clear there is no soul sleep for believers but rather a conscious, immediate presence with God after death: - See more at: http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. . Jones explains how to think about these questions and concludes: Despite the church's historic preference for burial, not all deaths afford loved ones an opportunity to choose the method of interment. I'm completely aware of the process etc but my brain just doesn't seem to want to believe that it could be him. However, if given a choice, contemporary believers open to cremation would be wise to carefully consider the practice and evaluate it in light of God's Word. The remaining bone particles are commonly referred to as cremains or ashes. So, heres what I said with as much good will as I could: Pastor, for most people in our area, cremation isnt a theological issue, its a practical issue. Even with closure, it can be very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts. On the other hand, decomposition, while not pretty, is a biological process, and the natural way of Please make sure all fields are filled out. Tarria was 49 years old born on October 12 1973. I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. There is no simple answer. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. The focus is to provide grief support via community interaction.Grieving.com was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. He was dead serious. Coping with guilt takes practice, awareness, reflection, and self forgiveness. $1,310. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. Survivors guilt might seem like a ridiculous emotion to some individuals, yet its very real for many people. Its important to understand the cause and what this feeling is trying to tell you. 2. My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. It could be outside pressure from your partner or loved ones. No state law requires either embalming or the use of a casket for burial, so a body can be directly interred in the earth, in a shroud, or in a vault without a casket. I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! Many people are hesitant to cremate a loved ones body. This refers to the experience of feeling guilty over surviving when someone else has died. Its weird that the body no longer exists. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. Tarria was the glue that held our family together. In contrast, Russell Moore counsels Christians to reject cremation: The question is not simply whether cremation is always a personal sin. However, I do think its a good idea to wait 3 or 4 days after a person dies before you dispose of the body. I like feeling like she is always with me. People who choose cremation arent attempting to disrespect God, nor are they denying the resurrection, nor do they believe that our bodies are toys that we can abuse. In recent years, science has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human mind. Cremation casket. Another interesting aspect of the grieving process is whats known as survivors guilt. There is an exception, which is when a person chooses cremating as a way of denying the Christian teaching on Resurrection. The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burial be retained: but it does not forbid cremation, unless this is chosen for reasons, which are contrary to Christian teaching. The cost could be reduced even further, though, if more churches would reinstitute the practice of using a portion of their land to be used for a church cemetery. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. Feeling guilt is a sign of just how much you cared about your pet. Thus the brain clings to pain rather than choosing feelings of joy. The first mention of cremation in the Bible is 1 Samuel 31, where Saul and his sons are burned and then their bones buried: But when the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead heard what the Philistines had done to Saul,all the valiant men arose and went all night and took the body of Saul and the bodies of his sons from the wall of Beth-shan, and they came to Jabeshand burned them there. 12:7), MacArthur adds, So cremation isn't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation.. I wish every day that she could come back to me. The cremation process occurs in the cremation chamber (sometimes called the retort), a masonry-lined enclosure that can produce and withstand temperatures in the range of 1800F to2000F. And yet its crucial to remember thatfeeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. As Timothy George says, While the weight of Christian tradition clearly favors burial, the Bible nowhere explicitly condemns cremation., However, there is a divide about whether it is prudent and acceptable for Christians to choose cremation. If you die unexpectedly, like from an accident or murder, you will probably hang around your body for a while; anywhere from 20 minutes to several days. Once that happens, you arent getting back into your body! Why not simply toss the corpses of our loved ones into the local waste landfill? See, cremation is much cheaper than embalming and cuts into the funeral homes bottom line and therefore the funeral directors pocket; couple that ulterior motive with the folk belief that cremation destroys Gods creation and you have a recipe for an anti-cremation funeral director. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. Improve your career, relationships, finances, health and more. No, because there is nothing there to feel pain with! Youre dead, youve passed on! You are no more! You have ceased to be! Youve expired and gon Guilt can be defined as a self-conscious emotion characterized by an assessment of having done (or thought) something that is wrong. Is cremation a sin, or is it an ethical option for Christians? The Catholic Church was anti-cremation up until about fifty-years ago. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. It holds some of her ashes in it, but it just looks like pretty jewelry to other people. However, despite his words of comfort to I also found the service so much better. These fragments are removed from the cremation chamber and placed on a table where the crematory operator removes, by hand or with a magnet,all metal debris such as screws, nails, surgical pins or titanium limbs/joints. I love pastors because Ive seen how much good they do during death and dying. 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